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Proper Swinger Etiquette

One of the nicest things about our lifestyle is that most of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness, and common courtesy; just as we ourselves wish to be treated. If you employ the following suggestions and adapt them to your own situation you should be a welcome participant.

Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.


One of the basic etiquette's in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No". Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No, thank you". Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.

Although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over-indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.Visibly intoxicated guests may be stopped at the door and refused entry. Management and Bar Staff reserve the right to cut off patrons due to excessive consumption of alcohol.

BE COURTEOUS: Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence, courtesy is our treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated. Remember the Golden and Silver rules.

BE FRIENDLY: Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.

CLEANLINESS: Nothing turns a person off faster than an unclean body or unfresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good freshen up again when you arrive at your destination.

PRACTICE SAFER SEX: It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. The use of condoms should not offend anybody.

ENJOY YOURSELF: Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.

In the Lifestyle a few simple guidelines go a long way:

The Golden Rule: "NO, Thanks", means NO! Anyone (yourself included) may say no at any time for any reason, without further explanation. If you're in a situation that makes you uncomfortable Just Say No! Don't jeopardize your joy and satisfaction with the life-style - or that of your partner, by doing anything against your will. Don't submit to guilt or pressure. Swinging is fun. Keep it that way. Disentangle yourself as quickly as possible with a firm, but gentle response. Be honest, but up-front, in order to avoid misunderstandings.

Always be kind. First and foremost. it's the proper, humane way to behave. Secondly, you may reconsider and want to party later. Keep your options open.

Everyone has been rejected at some time. If you're rejected do NOT take personal offense. Keep the encounter upbeat and light. Who knows? The person who passes up the goodies today, may want to swing with you tomorrow, or may be the key to you meeting another terrific partner! Know your own likes, dislikes, boundaries and strengths, thoroughly.

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Swingers Glossary

AC/DC - An individual who is bi-sexual.

B & D - Bondage and Discipline.

BDSM - Bondage, Discipline, Sado Masochism

Back Door - Slang for anal sex.

Bi-Curious - A person who is interested in trying same-sex activities Bisexual Swinger same sex sexual activity (See AC/DC)

Bondage - A sexual Swinger Fetish in which ropes, chains, cloth, leather straps, etc are used to bind, tie or hold one's participating sexual swinger partner; the person doing the binding is considered dominant while the person being bound is considered submissive

Closed Swinging - Sexual swinger interaction among swinger couples using separate rooms so that partners do not visually observe each other's sexual activity with another swinger; rooms are usually close to each other, in the same house or motel

Closet Swinger - A person who hides the fact they are a swinger from friends, family and/or co-workers (See Discreet)

Couple-Centrist - The belief that the swinger couple is the fundamental human sexual unit, and that all other swinger relationship structures will gravitate towards the swinger couple structure

Discipline - Disciplinary actions, which arouse sexual desires, ranging from mild spankings to painful beatings. (B&D)

DP - Double Penetration Swinger terminology

Exhibitionism - Swinger Sexual need to show the private parts of the body to others.

Fetish - Sexual arousal through the use of objects or devotion to parts of the body, such as feet, fingers, leather, etc.

French - Oral sex.

Full Swap - Full swap has no real swinger sub-groups and is quite straight forward Full Swap is swinger wife-swapping for fucking, plain and simple. It is completely hardcore, the ultimate in sexual adventure, and not for the possessive or Swinger Jealous. This can also include swinger women who like to have two or more men servicing them at once in a gang-bang (see DP ), and can certainly include lots of girl-girl action. Full swap swinger couples make up about 25% of all swingers, and if you ever find yourself in a full-swap encounter, leave your inhibitions at the door, strap-in, and get ready for a ride that you will never forget.

Greek - Anal intercourse

Group Room - Refers to a room set aside for group sex swingers, usually furnished with wall to wall mattresses or pads; also called matroom

Group Sex - Swinging; sexual activity involving three or more swinger people.

Growth Swinging - Social swinger sexual environment that promotes emotional, personal and swinger social growth (See Polyamory)

Hardcore Swinging - A sensual swinger party or engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected

Hedonist - One who practices the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in swinger life. One who lives only for swinger pleasure.

N.A.S.C.A. - The North American Swing Club Association; an association of swinger clubs and magazines to promote swinging as a viable and beneficial swinger life style

Nonmonogamy - The practice of any swinger sexual or relationship pattern outside of monogamy

Off Premise - These are swinger events in which sexual activity is not allowed at the swinger party. If members wish to get together then they leave and go to a hotel room, home, or where ever.

On Premise - These swinger events are usually house swinger parties or private swinger clubs. Sex Swinger is allowed in designated areas, such as bedrooms. There are usually safe rooms where sex is not allowed.

Off-Premise - Concerning swinger clubs or social events, the designation that sexual swinger activity shall not take place on the premises

On-Premise - Concerning swinger clubs or social swinger events, the designation that consensual sensual swinger activity may take place on the premises

Open Relationship - A swinger relationship in which sexual and romantic connections are not limited to the two individuals in the relationship

Open Swinging - Two or more participating swinger couples engaged in sexual activity in the same room; often associated with a swinger party where participants socially mix and are free to swing as couples, in one-to-one pairings and swinger group sex during the progress of the swinger party

Orgy - Sexual swinger interaction among multiple swinger consenting adults in the same room

Parties - Swinger parties are group swinging with more than one swinger couple. Not to be confused with orgies. Private rooms may be used, but all are under one roof.

Party Clothes - Clothing particularly worn for a swinger party which may include lingerie, robes, wrap-around towels and other simple wear that is easily removed; often makes selected body parts easily accessible for erotic courting and sexual intercourse.

Polyfidelity - A polyamorous swinger relationship structure in which more than two people form a sexually exclusive group, sometimes used as a safer-sex strategy; the polyamorous interpretation of monogamy

Recreational Swinger - A person who practices swinging primarily as a recreational diversion with little or no desire for emotional attachments

Restraint - Mild bondage used in sexual swinger fantasy enactments

Roman - Orgies. Unrestrained multiple sexual swinger activities in one room.

S&M - Sado-Masochism, the derivation of sexual pleasure from the infliction of physical or mental pain either on others or on oneself

Sadism - A sexual practice in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on a love object

Safe - Swinger male with vasectomy or female with hysterectomy or tubal ligation.

Sex-Negative - The belief that sex and sexuality is morally wrong and unnatural, often characterizing feminine sexuality as decadent and male sexuality as animalistic and dangerous

Sex-Positive - The belief that sex and sexuality is a healthy force in one's life; having an optimistic, open-minded, nonjudgmental attitude towards all forms of sexuality

Social - An organized get-acquainted area of neutral ground, such as a restaurant, or dance. Sometimes followed by a swinger party.

Soft Swingers - Swinger couples who only have intercourse with their own swinger partner (See Soft Swinging)

Soft Swing - This is usually a swinger couple’s first few baby steps toward the swinger life style. Soft swingers themselves fall into three different categories themselves, and this is why communication is so important when hooking up with a new swinger couple for the first time. The three sub-groups play differently and when combined make up about 75% of the swinger life style patrons.

Soft Swinging - The practice that sexual swinger interaction with partners outside of an established swinger couple goes up, to but does not include, sensual intercourse

Softcore Wife-Swapping – Swinger women and men will switch sexual partners and play the day away, but there is no sexual intercourse. Swinger activities include kissing, flirting, caressing, and oral sex. With this, there is still most often plenty of girl-girl action still going on, so the combinations are quite fun ?. Swinger couples into softcore wife-swapping usually like the variety of new sexual partners, but prefer to save the intimacy of swinger sex for each other.

Sub - Submissive (See B&D)

STR or STR8 - Straight

Swapping - The exchanging of mates by two swinger couples.

SWF - Single white female

Swing Club - A club, generally with private membership, that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties; may also offer educational and travel activities; usually involves a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues

Swinger - One, as part of a swinger couple, who engages in recreational swinger sex.

Swinging - Where two or more swinger couples agree to get together for the express purpose of engaging in intimate, sexual relations with a partner or partners other than their own. An alternative swinger life style for consenting adults who enjoy social, recreational, sensual swinger activities with others most often on a swinger couple-couple basis with full knowledge and mutal consent of each person involved

Swinging Lifestyle - Swinger Life Style of living that incorporates swinging activities as a major component in social recreation, choice of friends, business contacts and intimate swinger relationships

Threesome - Three swinger people, two of one sex and one of the other engaging in sensual swinger activity together; more casual than a "menage a' trios"

Utopian Swinger - An individual who practices swinging as a total swinger life style with humanistic ideals; one who seeks emotional intimacy with swinging partners for sexual fulfilment

Voyeurism - Observing others engaged in sensual swinger activities, in the act of undressing, or sexual exhibitions.

Water Sports - urination for sexual stimulation These are normal between swingers